My best friend is sleeping and I start crying.
I don't want to cry but tears keep coming out.
My heart is in pain.
So painful, I feel like dying at the moment.
I never feel sad like this before.
I want to feel happy and ignore this despair feeling.
But I am not that strong to resist it.
I feel like I had lost everything in my life.
I don't dare to cry in front of anyone.
But having this awful feeling and crying all alone by myself is the most awful feeling anyone could ever imagine.
My heart feels like someone is cutting it into pieces.
It is so painful but I can't share it with anyone.
There's only God who can save me from this unhappiness.
I really wanted to cry on someone shoulder but I don't want anyone to know that I'm sad.
I can't tell anyone about it and it makes me feel like I lost my breath.
I feel like.........
I have lost my words.
I should stop writing.
And I should stop crying.
I wish, I'll be able to forget everything that happened today and start a new life tomorrow; if only I can do that...

24/9/2009 2244 hour